This week in our Life Group we looked at what I consider the most important question when it comes to seeing change in your life: “Why would you like to change?”
Tim Chester helpfully examines our motivation for change and highlights that if we are changing for the wrong reasons, whilst our behaviour might change, we will not be growing in Christlikeness. The importance of motivation and our good deeds was something that Jesus (Matthew 6:1-6) and Paul (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) were also keen to drive home so we must examine our heart and look at why we want change.*
Chapter Overview: Why would you like to change?
In chapter 2 of You Can Change, Chester starts by highlighting three common reasons why we want to change:
- To impress God (i.e. we’re good so we’re accepted by him and go to heaven)
- To impress others (i.e. we’re good so others will like us and speak well of us)
- To impress ourselves (i.e. we’re good to congratulate ourselves and to have a sense of confidence that we’re a good person)
Chester reveals how these three motives have my self, my ego, my reputation and my glory at their foundation, and will therefore mean my ambition to change is at best flawed and at worst dangerous and either way, I will not grow in Christlikeness as the foundation of my change is selfishness.
He reflects on the sermon on the mount and how Jesus ends it (Matthew 7:113-27).
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount Jesus presents us with two choices: two roads, two foundations for life. We might suppose the choice is between a good life and a bad life. But, when you look back over the Sermon, that’s not what you see. The alternative life that Jesus rejects is a good life for the wrong reasons… so the options Jesus presents are self-righteousness and poverty of spirit.
Chester helpfully illustrates how often people’s behaviour changes but their motivation is still wrong, so their new behaviour is no more pleasing to God (e.g. an alcoholic who gives up drink because of social stigma or a Christian who attends weekly Mass because they want to fit into the community).
He then goes on to give us three motivations for change. These motivations are all based on our new identity that we have as people who have put our trust in Jesus. It’s our new identity that forms the motivation and basis for change.
- We’re children of God, not slaves to sin (Galatians 4:4-7, Romans 6:15-23)
- We’re the bride of Christ, not adulterers who are seduced into sin (Ephesians 5:27-29)
- We’re a home of the Holy Spirit, not houses full of dirt and stained with sin (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Chester ends his chapter with a four-part definition which gives our motivation for change.
Let’s sum up our motive for change: to enjoy the freedom from sin and delight in God that God gives to us through Jesus.
This means change is about:
- Joy, not dutiful drudgery
- Freedom, not slavery
- Delight, not settling for second best
- A gift, not an achievement
Here are three quotes that I found particularly helpful when thinking about my motivation for change:
God can’t love you more than he does – no matter how much you change your life. And God won’t love you less than he does now – no matter what mess you make of your life
Pharisees do good works and repent of bad works. But gospel repentance includes repenting of good works done for wrong reasons. We need to repent of trying to be our own saviour. Theologian John Gerstner says: ‘The thing that really separates us from God isn’t so much our sin, but our damnable good works.’
Holiness is new affections, new desires and new motives that then lead to new behaviour…John Piper says: ‘Conversion is the creation of new desires, not just new duties; new delights, not just new deeds; new treasures, not just new tasks’
Discussion and Reflections
Here are some of the things that came up as we chatted through the chapter and why we wanted to change. In no particular order:
Firstly we were all we a bit spooked out that what dominated our discussion last time (our motivation for good works) was what this whole chapter was about!
Secondly, we loved the idea that because Jesus said “it is finished” we don’t need to do anything more (no more atonement or good works to try and repay).
Thirdly, we thought it was easier to see why we shouldn’t look to change (to impress God, others or ourselves) but less difficult to see why we should. We realised it was about understanding our identity and being grateful for what God has done… but it didn’t hit home in the same way. I feel we’ll need to come back to this.
Fourthly, we all talked about how sin promises so much and delivers so little and found Chester’s thought experiment helpful (we all shared one example).
- Sin promises fun and excitement but delivers pain and tragedy
- Sin promises freedom but it delivers slavery and addiction
- Sin promises life and fulfilment but it delivers emptiness, frustration and death
- Sin promises gain but it delivers loss
- Sin promises that we can get away with it, but the fact is, we don’t
Fifthly, we went off topic but had a helpful discussion about suffering. It came up because we were discussing whether we believed the quote above, “God can’t love you more than he does – no matter how much you change your life. And God won’t love you less than he does now – no matter what mess you make of your life” and that led us to talk about how suffering makes us doubt God’s love, whether it be to us or those around us. However we then reflected that since Jesus was perfect and God loved him and he suffered, suffering can’t mean that God doesn’t love us. We also talked about this being the proof of his love when circumstances and feelings tell us otherwise. Finally we talked about how suffering produces good things in our characters and lives… and that got us back on track.
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*I have written extensively on the subject of motivation and good works, in the context of financial giving, if you want to explore this topic further.