Loving those you disagree with sounds great. It fits with the golden rule of doing to others as you would have them do to you. However it’s hard in reality and you often need to think it through. So I was delighted to receive an email after last Sunday’s talk on Romans 14 with three excellent questions.
With permission here are the questions and my answers (originally all over email). I hope you find it helpful. Do ask any further questions in the comments below or discuss it in your City Group. We have also written a short bible study for you to do in City Group or Life Group.
Question 1
Yesterday’s talk helped me realise that I need/want to seek more truth in the Word in order to better love others. I tend to be someone who likes to please, make everyone feel comfortable. The talk focused on how we as Christians relate to one another, fellow Christians. I wonder how/if we can apply the same principles in our relationships and conversations with non-Christians and former Christians who may have the brain knowledge but not necessarily the conviction. What are your thoughts? Where can I look in the Bible to see where Paul and/or others talk about relationships (in general) with non-Christians?
Answer 1
Great question. Check out Acts 14-17 and look at how Paul relates to different cultures as he spreads the gospel into a less and less Jewish context. Compare Acts 2 and Peter’s sermon (Jerusalem) with the ones in Acts 14 (Lystra and Derbe) and Acts 17 (Athens). In fact the book of Acts and the sermons are a great place to start. And then go to 1 Corinthians 9, particularly verse 19-22 onwards and see Paul’s principle behind mission: “all things to all men”.
And in terms of lack of conviction, we should pray for them and – within the context of friendship, love and trust – challenge them. Jesus’ examples in Luke 10 and 18 are to do with people with brain knowledge (both know their Old Testament back-to-front) but no conviction, and he asks them questions to get them to think for themselves. That’s always a good approach.
Question 2
Secondly, how are Christians supposed/expected to relate to present day Jews? Our morals seem to be the same, and in the context of yesterday’s reading in Romans 14: 12-23, are Jews in the modern day considered “our brothers and sisters” for whom we are to “do what leads to peace and to mutual edification”?
Answer 2
There are two types of Jews today (broadly speaking*) – (1) those that believe Jesus is the messiah = we practice Romans 14-15 if there any differences in faith or conscience, pursue mutual edification etc. (2) those that don’t believe Jesus is the messiah = we gently and lovingly try to persuade them that he is (see Acts 16-18 and what Paul does in the synagogues), though if they remain unchanged in their view we respect and do not condemn them (the whole point of the series!). Paul is in pains that many of his Jewish brothers don’t believe that Jesus is the Messiah (Romans 9:1-6) and so should we. He wants to be cut off so they can be saved, so great is his love for them. And yes we, like Paul, should start with the Old Testament scriptures and story as our starting place for our conversation with them.
Question 3
Thirdly, when we are trying to put ourselves in the shoes/situation of our fellow brothers and sisters in order to really understand them and love them and in so doing censor what we do or say (e.g. not drinking around those who struggle with alcoholism, etc.), at what point does that become just a gesture of “political correctness” and in some ways insincere and exactly that, a censored/not totally genuine interaction and relationship? Answer 3
As ever, the issue is motivation. Our motivation for what we do matters 100 times more than what we do (see 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 or Matthew 6). So if we’re doing that to be politically correct then it’s not according to faith and love (the 2 principles from Romans 14-15) but from people-pleasing and cowardliness. This is not good. So faith and love will purify our motives, our prayer life and our actions as we consider how we relate to those we disagree with.
However it is worth clarifying that if the disagreement is over a central issue of the gospel (the person and work of Christ etc.) we stand firm and are willing to be rejected and ostracised rather than make any exceptions. For example see Galatians 1:6-10 and how Paul treats a church that is changing the very gospel (“you need to be circumcised to be saved”) – he tells them he wishes the false teachers were eternally damned rather than the gospel be tampered with. In Romans the context is different, it’s about custom and ritual and conscience (food and sabbath laws) and it’s not about the the gospel and salvation. In Galatians it is about salvation and Paul doesn’t show any of the flexibility that he does in Romans 14-15.
* I appreciate this a very crude way to categorise the Jewish Religion today, but it’s helpful when considering how Christians, who believe Jesus is the Messiah, should relate to the Jewish People.